Someone had left yellow paper in the copier when I made my copies for small group the other day, so I just used them anyway. I handed them out around the group; half the kids got yellow and half got white. Girl M's reaction (said with much expression, as per her usual demeanor): "OOOOH, Miss Johnson, I can't have a yellow one 'cause it makes me think of CHEESE!"

Boy J: (while looking at a book about snakes) "Is that a anacondom?"

HA!

Girl M:

"Miss Johnson, you know what? My uncle, he put his foot on my sister's stomach and JUST GUESS WHAT?! She pooted!"

Boy S:

"My aunt was at yoga class with my mom and she was doing this one stretch like this *does bizarre stretch* and then she tooted! Right in front of thirty people! At yoga!"

Both of these were completely unsolicited and out of nowhere. They sure thought it was funny, though. :)

The Many Faces of Miss Johnson

Nothing like seeing yourself through a child's artistic representation. ;) I need to remember to get a shot of the one where I look like a hunchback with gorilla arms, six-fingered club hands and tiny little superball feet.

Ok, so the horse ones are especially a hoot because, well, I have a history with horses and it's not a good one. I'm hardly the next cowgirl candidate.

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Lastly, making long days worthwhile:

Random Funnies

"Miss Johnson, I sho' am sad you don't feel good today." *pats my back* - Girl M

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"Legend has it that there was a dead guy in the cemetery ... " - Kid from another class

"I bet there are a LOT of dead guys in the cemetery." - Me

"What?" - Kid

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Their suggestions for what to call our classroom money:

Among the funniest are Smackaroonies, Penguin Bucks (whaaaa?), Big Gs (ghetto-tastic!), See Dollars (seriously? What does that even mean? Am I missing something?), and Bling Bling Bucks.

P.S. I normally write WAY neater than this, I swear. I was jotting down their ... um, ideas ... as quickly as they were spouting them off.

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An answer on a science pre-test that Ginger made ... 3 non-examples of plants:

Popcorn, chicken, and popcornchicken ... This one really had me giggling for some reason. I guess it's right, though!

Thank You ... I Think.

I love all the pictures my kids draw me, but it's been really fun seeing what some of them decide to bring me as "gifts" ...

I HAVE always longed for an old clown-esque, Christmas-themed, vest-and-top-hat-clad mystery creature with plastic phalanges!

P.S. Before anyone gets all, "It should be the gesture that counts, not the gift!" Yes, yes. I agree 100% and in no way am I trying to demonstrate any kind of lack of appreciation for the thought. I just think it's a really, really bizarre item. And ... I'm pretty sure this girl brought it to school with no intention of giving it to me. She must've had a fleeting and overwhelming surge of generosity.

Once You Pop, the Lies Don't Stop

Scenario: Math time, about five minutes after snack.

Players: Team One and Girl K.

The Event: I'm explaining a math game that students will be playing in small groups. As I'm turned around, writing on the board, I hear Team One collectively saying, "OOOOOH! Girl K is eating her chips!" I turn around, glance at Girl K, and ask why/if she was still eating her snack. She shakes her head, but Team One protests. The conversation goes as follows:

Me: "Girl K, why are you eating your chips? Snack ended five minutes ago."

Girl K: "I'm not even eating them! I'm not eating 'em!" *turns to face me*

Me: "Girl K! You're spitting crumbs at me! What do you mean, you're not eating them??"

Girl K: *with crumb-tongue and grease-fingers* "NUH-UH! I'M NOT! I ain't even eatin' 'em! They lyin'! They tryin' to get me in trouble!"

Despite the blatant evidence on her hands, face, and tongue, I bend down to investigate the innards of her desk. Sure enough, a full tube of Pringles is sitting there, open, not even almost camouflaged by her books, folders, and school box.

Maybe you had to be there ...

Week 1

Sitting in the teacher's bathroom of course behind the stall door.  I hear the door open and close quietly.  I see flip flops move past the stall I am in.  Then I see a little face looking at me from under the stall.  I hear "Hi Ms. Schwab, What ya doing?"  I say something like I am using the restroom.  A whole conversation happens, little one still looking under the stall.  I finally say well I am done using the restroom isn't it time you get ready to go back to class?  She then leaves my stall to use the restroom herself.  I finish getting dressed and go wash my hands.  She comes out of the stall and washes her hands as well.  I say what class did you come from, she replies art.  I state what restroom should you use in art?  This is the teacher's restroom she says oh I don't know.  The teacher's really have a restroom!  Can we say BONDING EXPERIENCE!!!